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Some Days I Just Want To Cry

“A dream not acted upon is just a dream” ~Denzel Washington

Having 3 kids and being a stay-at-home momma who also homeschools is the hardest job of all. 

Before the keyboard warriors come, I love it and I wouldn’t change it. You vent about your JOB and so am I. No different. 

Let’s proceed. 

Some days they are just plain assholes and not to me nut to each other and it is stress-inducing and that stress makes me want to CRY. 

Beating kids is wrong and doesn’t work anyways, it makes the kids think of ways to do things in the background and that makes them not trust you and then makes them want to hide at all times. 

Also, in moments they don’t want to listen, yelling doesn’t work and it is also not a good disciplinary tool. Although, you have to bring that bass to let them know you ain’t playin’ 

But then that makes me feel guilty and also makes me want to cry. 

This is the momma hood circle of chaos. 

Thankfully these days are not many, but when you’re sober and NEVER want to go back it makes it all that much more stressful. 

We live in this mental and physical state of if we have pain or stress we want to cover it with our drug of choice. 

When we get to a point of learning to “control” this we are left with actually feeling the pain and stress and working through it. 

Working through can sometimes mean suppressing thinking we’ve done something but that doesn’t help either. 

JOURNALING is my go-to for helping me process all this shit. 

Collecting journals has become one of my new addictions. But, it’s a positive addiction that doesn’t hurt anyone. 

Tree of LIfe Journal
Marble effect Notebook

Here are just 2 of my 50 + journals I have. I honestly couldn’t find the other pics I took and didn’t feel like taking them over. These are just the latest 2. 

I also have a thing I’ve started doing for my kids. Each kid has their own journal for me to write in for when they get older. It will have all the advice and life lessons that I want them to know. It’s just in case I die or if I missed something that I should’ve told them or wanted to explain but wasn’t able to put into words properly. Sometimes I make more sense in written format than in verbal. LOL! That’s the introvert in me that has a communication problem in articulating what I want to say in a way that humans know what I’m saying. This isn’t an I’m more intelligent than anyone thing, it’s an I can’t keep up worth my brain or I get ahead of my brain and end up speaking all over the place and I make no sense. In a written format, I can go and edit what I’m saying LOL!

Sometimes, however, I may still not make sense but that’s ok. I’m a party of one of the inside joke train. 

Do you journal and what’s a word you would use to describe you’re parenting style? 

Mine is Asshole. My kids can be assholes and so can I at times because motherhood is no FUCKING joke. It requires levels of assholery. 

Also, if you journal post your favorite journal below if pictures are allowed or you can send me a message to share it with me.

I’ll see ya next time for this wild Coordinated Chaos of a ride that I’m trying to stay sober in. 

Drop your sober dates below!

See you on the next hot mess express Train Wreck

XOXO 

Tuesday 

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